in Capital Letters.
When I was little, my greatest desire in the entire world was to fall in love. It's what I wished for every single night before bed. It's why, for so many years, I tried to force it to happen. I had crushes, sure, but I also tried to 'fall in love' with men I wasn't really interested in too. No matter how much I spoke about how I didn't think anyone needed anyone, I desperately wanted this big elusive true love/saviour to crash into my life and save me from everything that was ugly and unhappy and unfair. First it was Harry Potter, flying in on his broomstick and taking me to Hogwarts. Then it was Daniel Radcliffe, and with him everything England had to offer. And then - then it was everyone else. That's such a dangerous game to play. If it's with people who you don't really care about, you're relatively safe. But if it's someone you do... That sort of vulnerability brought me to the brink of losing everything about me that was mine. B