the shadi show

I am the sort of person that overthinks almost everything. Buying tickets to Paris on a whim and not planning an itinerary is not very me. I love the feeling of freedom and open skies and open days, but I can’t help but worry that I’m wasting my days away when I haven’t left the hostel by 3pm and haven’t fully decided on what I’m going to do when I’ve left. I’ve got to learn to let this worry go, because not knowing what the day will hold means that when I stumble across a Christmas market or cheap movie tickets or new friends, it makes the experience that much more special. Because it was a surprise.  That being said, it wasn’t all peachy. I ended up feeling so thirsty I ordered a cider, an orange juice and a coffee all at once and not being able to finish them, after paying a lot of money for an Italian meal that was so big and salty which for some reason I did finish. At that point I was a heavy rock in human form, and it took every ounce of energy left in my body to remove myself f

It’s not travel related but I’ve had a thought that I’d like to share. I think, once you love someone, it’s something that can’t be stopped. It’s like unlocking a feature of a game that could be a bonus but takes a hell of a lot of getting used to - especially if you don’t want to love them anymore, or you hate them but love them still. There are a thousand different ways to respond to this, but I think the trickiest and most fulfilling is to figure out a way to balance loving someone and getting on with your life. Letting it become a lesson in a picture frame in the attic of your mind. Letting it become a story to tell your grandchildren - "I loved like this, I know this pain, my love. I know how hard it is to let go. Sometimes you can’t, not just like that. Sometimes letting go isn’t closure, it’s walking away." Love can be a knife that keeps wounding us in the same place in different ways. I really believe that making that kind of love and all the joy and pain that comes w

I feel like there’s some latent part of me that’s a weather girl, because I feel such joy when looking out at any kind sky. Look at this one, though! A bright, crisp Luton morning. Isn’t it perfect? Not all of Luton looks like this, unfortunately. Most of it doesn’t, in fact. It used to be a hat-making town during the war (don’t ask me which one, I haven’t a clue), and the industrial feel never really left. The buildings are large and square and brown and imposing, and there’s a feel of desolation hanging around every corner. I love it. I can’t imagine what this place would look like in the springtime with bits of green and colour peeking out from the pavement, but it is spectacular in winter. If I were in charge of the production of a film adaptation of The Silent Companions, this town is where I would set/film the matchstick factory scenes.  I haven’t much to report today, which is odd because today’s the first day I’ve mostly stayed awake through the daylight hours. I’m staying with

22 hours and three flights later, I’m finally home. I can’t pinpoint the how or the why, but wherever I am that isn’t here, I feel out of sync with myself. Now that I’m back again, everything feels right, like I’m seeing in technicolor. Not that there’s much in terms of colour out here in jolly old England at the moment. It’s misty and literally freezing and hard to see and oh, is it beautiful. I’m fighting the good fight with jet lag at the moment. I had a nap around lunchtime (midnight in Australia) that ended up lasting 8 hours. A late dinner was had, and here I am back in bed again. I know what I’ll probably dream of: what I left behind - my friends, my family, and the coffee I drank at the Paris airport. I have a quick story for you before I go. It isn’t even a story really, it’s just a fun achievement that has hopefully begun a trend.  When I caught my flight from China to Paris, everyone assumed I was a French-speaker. It was a fair assumption to make, I followed instructions as

I’m going to try an Ariana Grande and tell you about my travels, Twitter style: quick and unedited. As much as this is because I’m embracing the unfiltered life, this is also a matter of convenience. You see, over the next month, I’m backpacking through Europe. By myself. For the first time. Can you tell that I’m vaguely terrified? Only vaguely though, and I’ve never let vague terror stop me before. I am a Gryffindor, after all.  I’ve spent most of my life looking at travel as a means of escape, but in my 25 years I’ve realised something pretty important: if fear is the motivator for any decision you make, regret will always follow. I booked this flight not to run away but to run to. I’m running to myself. I want to find out what it’s like to be my own home. The only consistency over the next few weeks will be me, myself and I. I think I’m in a well enough place now that this journey will only lead to positive things. I like me. I want to get to know me better.  So, that’s the deep and

The best ideas, as always, seem to come to me when I am sitting on the toilet. I had been wanting to write this piece for a while, but whenever I sat down to write it, my need to logically explain my case was rapidly taken over by this overwhelming frustration in having to explain my case in the first place. However, my toilet musings have led me to two distinct and clear points which I believe will aid me in my quest. My first point is as follows: The genre a book belongs to dictates its purpose, not the quality of its writing. Any book can be excellent, regardless of whether it be non-fiction, literary fiction, genre fiction or children/young adult fiction. Belonging to a certain category means that a book may partake in certain constraints and tropes. Young adult books, in particular, are known as having two-dimensional protagonists, cliched love-triangles and predictable plots. I think this is in part because the target audience is known to be 'teenage girls' - the le

There were very few people who knew Bunny better than Alexis. Their friendship was renowned for being stronger and more persistent than almost all things, including the common cold and construction work on the main street. It was for this reason that David was reluctant to mention what he had just read in his newspaper. But say it he must, for he knew that no one would want to fix things or would do so with as much ferocity as Bunny Lancashire. Unsure how best to begin, he coughed, loudly. "Coughdrop?" said Bunny, turning slowly away from the window from which she had been staring. "No thank you, dear," said David, before coughing again. "I've just read something that I think you should know..." "Is it that Alexis has traveled to Uraguay and disappeared from her locked hotel room?" said Bunny, taking a sip of her now-cold coffee. "How did you know?" said David. "Oh, she just texted me about it." &

For those of you who don't know me, October is my favourite month and Halloween is my favourite holiday. It tops birthdays and weddings and even New Years, and I love me an opportunity to celebrate a new beginning. There's something about how the month marks the change of weather from chilly winter to warm, blustery spring, and how it seems to celebrate story-telling, which is one of the most tangible forms of magic in the universe. It's also the time of year where everyone seems to spend a little more time indoors, trying hard to make the most of the remaining months of the year. I think there's something truly magical about October. Photo by  Bekir Dönmez  on  Unsplash This year, as always, I'm hoping to indulge in some spooky reads, because nothing feels more October to me than reading an atmospheric book. These are the ones I am the most excited to get to: -Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl -Dracula by Bram Stoker -Death

Bunny was a bold woman of twenty-two. She had a boring job that she did fabulously well and wholly detested, and three close friends that only got on on the best of occasions. She drank a lot of coffee and did a lot of thinking and what she thought of most of all was that what she wanted, more than anything in the world, was to get into a bit of trouble. Not in the romantic sense, of course. That was old hat at her age, surely. Besides, anyone could have their heart broken. No. Bunny wanted to experience the high of discovery or mystery. It was a great frustration to her that most of the good places had already been found. Multiple times, it often turned out. She hoped that there were still some aliens buried deep in the Antarctic tundra for her to find, but was at the point where she was willing to accidentally go missing just to provide herself with something to do. It was this that she had been discussing with one of her friends, David, over coffee at Luke's. He was a terrib

When I was little, my greatest desire in the entire world was to fall in love. It's what I wished for every single night before bed. It's why, for so many years, I tried to force it to happen. I had crushes, sure, but I also tried to 'fall in love' with men I wasn't really interested in too. No matter how much I spoke about how I didn't think anyone needed anyone, I desperately wanted this big elusive true love/saviour to crash into my life and save me from everything that was ugly and unhappy and unfair. First it was Harry Potter, flying in on his broomstick and taking me to Hogwarts. Then it was Daniel Radcliffe, and with him everything England had to offer. And then - then it was everyone else. That's such a dangerous game to play. If it's with people who you don't really care about, you're relatively safe. But if it's someone you do... That sort of vulnerability brought me to the brink of losing everything about me that was mine. B

hello hello hello hello! If you're wondering whether the numerous hellos are a sign of intense caffeination, you would be correct (3 cups today and counting!). They are also, however, a sign of genuine enthusiasm because ... drumroll, please ... I HAVE PURCHASED THE THESHADISHOW.COM DOMAIN! that's right folks, from now on, this blog can be found at www.theshadishow.com for your entertainment/pop-culture/political wants and needs! but that is not the only change that is on its way, oh no! I have spent the past three months being as busy as humanly possibly (seriously, ask anyone, it has been a little nutty how busy I've been) and have slowly adjusted to having every hour of my life scheduled and accounted for. I'm basically like the Oxford-hopeful Olsen twin from New York Minute, or Katherine Heigl's character from 27 Dresses. But now that my life has achieved some sort of routine, I have had time to focus on my plans for theshadishow . And thus verily a