dancing in the storm

The teachings of Buddhism state that attachment is the root of all suffering - that to be attached to a person or a place or a thing will cause us sadness when that person place or thing is no longer a part of our lives. There are some attachments that I would never give up, and I guess that’s what makes me gloriously human, but I can’t help but believe that my attachment to the certainty of my future is causing me to experience an acute unsettlement that I could really do without.

Three weeks ago, I had a plan of exactly what my year would look like. In fact, I had a plan of how this year would lead into next year and the year after that and the year after that. This wasn’t even something that I was looking forward to necessarily - I was just sure of my path. Now, I’m at home and listless and grieving the loss of a future that, in truth, was never really that certain anyway.

I don’t want to give up all of my attachments by any means. I am willing to feel sadness when something I have loved is lost to me, so in that sense I am sure that enlightenment is not in my near future. However, I do think that these recent events have given us all a magnificent opportunity to really appreciate how uncertain everything is. There’s almost something magical in that. If life could turn to shit at any moment, then each tiny happy thing could be seen as it truly is - a curious, wonderful miracle. 

I know this revelation will probably not last forever, but while it does, I want to appreciate that life is a series of chaos. That is a storm I want to dance in. 

love love love,

Shadi

P.S. stay safe.